To equip your child for the future, the speaker urged that an important characteristic your child needs to develop and have nurtured is the sense of knowing themselves. Your child needs to know themself.
Hmm.
Know thyself.
Heck! I don't even know myself! How can I encourage my little people to know themselves?
I am still trying to find out what this body is capable of (now that it's starting to show signs of wear and tear). I don't think I've ever gotten proper mileage out of it.
And this mind? Well, it has yet to discover its passion - the thing it craves more than anything else in the world.
I have not found my forte, my pre-occupation. I still feel like the kid in high school who has to make a career choice when actually, the greatest concern for her at that moment is trying to figure out how to clasp her bra behind her back without dislocating her shoulder. That's me. I'm still coming to terms with this body. This life. This planet. And I'm expected to know myself!?!?!?
I have tried on various robes, and none of them have fit me comfortably. I have dabbled in an assortment of occupations and yet have not found my niche. My happy place. I so badly want to find my purpose. My fulfillment. My craze.
You get these people (just as an example) who are just mad about what they do. They love, love, love their jobs. I've never really experienced that.
Currently my preoccupation is with my children. I just want to be a good mommy. And I want to raise happy, well-adjusted, socially-acceptable, valuable, confident adults. That's my goal.
But the truth is that a part of me wriggles, and sits uncomfortably, trying desperately to be patient; to wait her turn. There's a yearning within me to discover the little piece that would make everything make sense. I wish to fulfill a potential that I believe I have, but have not yet unlocked. I wish to really know myself. If I could know myself, I could be so useful to my children and my dear husband, helping them to attain their potentials too.
In my endeavors to "find myself", I have tried on various outfits, and none of them have fit me perfectly; not without pulling across my enormous boobs, or riding up at the back. I have put on the smock of the artist - it belonged to someone else. I have tried on the shoes of the dancer and carried the satchel of the student. The athlete's trainers left me with a twisted ankle. I have worn the spectacles of the educator, and pricked my fingers with the pins of the seamstress. I tried on the uniform of the nurse and carried the scales of the midwife. I put on the frown of the small business owner, and it gave me a headache. The agriculturist's wellington boots are resting on the doormat. I have tapped on the keyboard of the web-designer as well as at the keyboard of the pianist. I have worn the apron of the housewife and driven the station wagon of the mother. I have doodled with the pens of the writer and blinded myself with the photographer's flash. I have followed the books of the church (which were heavy), and I sang the mantra of the yogis (which lifted my spirits greatly). And in all of this, the thing, the one thing that would define me, escapes me.
Is it too late to go for career counselling?
No, counseling is great. Go for it! But I've found that it's not so much about _what_ you want to do as _how_ you want to work -- on a team, by yourself, in a leadership position, in a support position, at a desk, moving around...
ReplyDeleteI am that girl too! At 33, one should really know who the heck you and and what it is you want to do with your life, but not me. And while I try figure it all out, I'm trying to raise a well-rounded, informed little boy, who will one day grow up to be a capable and satisfied bread-winner to his family (hopefully!!)
ReplyDeleteSue
Here's something I've learn't in life. It's good enough
ReplyDeleteto just be who you are right now. You already are
somebody who is so brilliant at so many things
you take pride and enjoyment in your activities
and you gotta admit you're a darn good mom!
That's an "occupation" I can promise you few
are actually good at, and you excell at it. Be thankful
for the small things and the big things. And make
sure you feel and give love everyday, no matter in what form.
Stop, take a breath and just be thankful. Xxx
Thank you for your comments - really is nice that all three of my readers took time to post a comment!
ReplyDelete:-P
Sue - you are doing such an amazing job with your little guy, rest assured that he will be an amazing husband and daddy one day - absolutely have no doubt about it.
Hey Ren - you sound just like my yoga instructor - "you are perfect as you are: right here, right now"! Thank you for your very kind words.
Dear Charis,
ReplyDeleteKnow that you are all those things and much more you are Charis Inc. I think we limit how we see ourselves by trying to compartmentalise our self by our jobs/activities/family roles. When it is those collected experience that help mold us and define us.
I am Hippotamus Thomas an accepting mum/terrible crafter/fun second grade teacher/patient loving wife/long lost friend who misses you terribly but warmed by your friendship thousands of miles away/wayward Christian/Zumba superstar! hahaha
I find that, as soon as I think I've figured out who/what I am, something comes along and changes my perception. The one constant I have is God's love and my family. As long as I have those I can hop from job to job and new idea to new idea without getting lost. You could say they are my tether to reality :) So forget about defining yourself! Instead, go do something you think that people would never think you would do. It's so much more fun and eventually, you’ll find yourself. Whether it be on a cliff side while your rock climbing or in your bed snuggled up with your kids reading, you are hiding out there somewhere!
ReplyDelete