Confessions From a Parking Lot

Let me start by saying that I'm not proud of this story. Really.

This is what happened: I had been getting things at Willowbridge. I had my card swiped at Woolies for the discounted 90 minutes free parking. Only, unbeknownst to me, I had been there a tad more than that, but didn't bother to check on my way out. I ASSUMED that I was all clear to go.

Silly me.

So there I was, pulling up to one of the two exit booms, confidently slipping my parking card into the little boom-controlling machine. And there the little boom-controlling machine was, confidently regurgitating it back at me like a baby with bad reflux.

A concerned Boom Official approached my window and asked if I had paid my card. "Er, I swiped it at Woolies????" I made sure he heard all the question marks. The Boom Official examined me briefly, decided I was harmless and mostly below average intelligence, and offered to run to the ticket machine located in the center to pay the ticket for me. Gratefully I handed him my ticket and a ten rand note, pulled up my hand brake and switched my hazard lights on - politely indicating to any departing shoppers that I had a minor problem and that they shouldn't try to pass through the boom I was blocking.

Lady in car number 1 (lets call her Exhibit A) pulls up behind me. And waits. It's apparent that she didn't see my hazards flashing. I try to catch her eye in my rear view mirror, indicating my obvious hiatus in exiting the parking lock. It takes her some time to notice that I'm not going anywhere. Eventually we lock eyes; me staring apologetically into my rear view mirror, she glaring angrily at me. With much exaggeration, she puts her car into reverse, never breaking eye contact with me and mouthing her dissatisfaction at this hinderance to her departure. She reverses. Not seeing the car that had, in the meantime, pulled up behind her (let's call that Exhibit B).

I, of course, watching Exhibit A in my rear-view mirror, had seen Exhibit B pull up behind her. I had also watched aghast as Exhibit A made ready to reverse. I had yelled "Stop Lady!" before she actually started moving, but I think she thought I was swearing back at her.

I watched helplessly as Exhibit A rammed her car into Exhibit B.

Thankfully, at this point, the Boom Official returned with my freshly paid card and was very quick in getting it active in opening the boom. As I pulled away, I looked once more in my rear-view mirror only to see Exhibit A impatiently pulling up to the second boom-controlling machine and placing her card into the awaiting slot. She had either not realised what she had just done, or was anxious to get away.

Exhibit B was exactly where we had left him only moments before. Well, not exactly. Probably about 30 cm back from where we had left him, but he looked just the same: eyes wide open, lower jaw resting on his accelerator pedal.

Now I know it wasn't all my fault, entirely, this little parking lot fender-bender. But I can't help but feel a smidgen guilty about it all. Like I should have stopped, or checked my ticket before leaving, or something.

If guilt were shoes, I'd say this is equivalent to a pair of Hi-Tecs.